Sometimes our house seems quite empty, with the loss of Matt and then our other son moving away . Family living in different places. There are times when I feel it and the impact is profound.
When I am not well, for whatever reason, I don't cope with it and feel bereft. Not having been 100% for a week is one of these times. And I make no apologies for writing that either.
But this morning I had a dream.....................
I shared it with Timelord and I was in tears, just before he went off to work. It had been a truly remarkable experience, and I can still see it now.
I was moving into a new home. It was welcoming and warm. I went through the rooms enjoying the discovery of each one. Downstairs as I went into the first room, at the front of the house, there was a bright, glowing, real coal fire, crackling in the grate.
"Oh" I thought, " Stephen has taken the trouble to set the fire before going to work." There were comfortable big armchairs and thick patterned curtains. It was a place to relax totally. The flames dancing and flickering. There was another room at the back of the house, running the length of the house, with large multi-paned windows, and a double window leading out to a patio. This time two coal fires!! More squashy armchairs and lovely settees, to bury oneself into and enjoy the cosiness.
"Well," thought I, " He has been busy this morning." I thought I was alone in the house.
I went upstairs and the first room I saw was one which looked as if it had been especially made for me. It was a room with a window at one end and a skylight overhead. Plenty of light. There was an enormous long table stretching down the middle, a craft table! And someone had filled up cupboards and drawers with all kinds of artist's materials, so I could paint!! I loved it!! It was MY room. It had a beautiful wooden floor. I became very excited wondering what I would find next!!
I went along to the next room and there was a view over the garden.........only I became aware of Matt there. He looked a lot younger and was deciding for himself which room he would like, and then he was talking to Alan, (who also looked a lot younger!) about his room. They were really pleased about them. Both rooms were at the back of the house and Alan's had a sloping roof, which suited him, for some reason. I watched them both and felt happy to see them there together.
Then I peeked out of the room which was to be ours, on to the most beautiful garden. It stretched out in a series of terraces, from a stone flagged patio which was laid out in a particular pattern, with various potted plants dotted about. Each terrace was different from the rest, all with lovely colourful plants and roses, until it ended at a hedge which opened out on to fields and a small coppice on the left hand side.
I breathed in the tranquility and peace. And I adored it.
And I realised it had been a dream and when I told TL about it I was in tears.
Later in the day I was recounting this to another friend of ours who suddenly said "That wasn't a dream, it is a triumph."
What did he mean? He reminded me of what Jesus said in John's gospel Ch 14
"Don't let this throw you. You trust God don't you? There is plenty of room for you in my Father's house. If that weren't so, would I have told you that I'm on my way to get a room ready for you? And if I'm on my way to get your room ready, I'll come back and get you so you can live where I live. And you already know the road I am taking."
The Message version.
All the hairs of my head tingled at that, and he said I should write it down. After Timelord came home this evening I was telling him all this and he said
"That's exactly what I thought this morning when you related it to me. You should write a blog...."
So, I have. And the dream is still as vivid. God moment or not? I know what I think!